Sitting with the Twins’ Wives: Great Seats, Better Jewelry

My brother and I attended last Saturday’s Twins game, and since going to a game has become such a rarity with me, I decided to employ Craigslist and find some really good seats. Thanks to my newfound friend “Jon,” my brother and I landed some sweet seats about 15 rows up, right behind home plate.


As the game started, an extremely attractive woman and her two kids took their seats directly in front of us, and my brother immediately noticed the diamond wedding ring the woman was sporting. I tried to surreptitiously snap a photo of it, because folks, you would not have believed it. Unfortunately, this is all I got:

In comparing notes after the game, my brother and I estimated the top of the rock to be about the size of a penny, which would put it at around 6 carats. No lie.

I figured with a ring like that she had to be somebody special, and as Orlando Cabrera took the field for his first game at shortstop for the Twins, he looked up at the woman and the two kids that were waving feverously at him and acknowledged them with a head tilt to the right shoulder, which was immediately returned with the same head tilt by the three ladies.

In looking around further, we noticed a multitude of massive wedding rings, and quickly surmised we were sitting in the players’ wives section.

Since the Twins were getting killed, I spent my time watching the wives, as there was some very interesting dynamics going on. Observations from the wives’ section:

• I expected them to be prettier. I’ve seen how women act in bars around pro athletes, and even the ugliest guy on the team can command the attention of the hottest girls in the bar. Maybe hot girls ultimately figure out that pro athlete or not, waking up next to Nicky Punto is not all it’s cracked up to be.
• That being said, Joe Crede’s wife was stunning. She was one of those people that you just watch because she was that striking.
• The wives all talked during the entire game. They watched very little and did not cheer. All they did was talk. The whole game…
• The exception was Cabrera’s wife, who watched, cheered, and knew her hardball. In a tricky scoring situation, she knew Orlando would be credited with just one RBI. My brother also got her to high five him after a sweet Cabrera hit. None of the other wives cared.
• Wives don’t stand for the 7th Inning Stretch, don’t sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” and don’t do the wave (bless them on that wave thing). They just continue to talk.
• I guarantee that section consumed 50% or more of all salads sold in the Metrodome that night. No dogs and peanuts for this crew.
• In the 8th inning, they all got up and cleared out – evidently headed to a room where the players can be with their families. While she was invited, Cabrera’s wife didn’t go – she wanted to watch the game. God love her.
  

I’m sure being a player’s wife is a hard life, and it doesn’t help when you have a yahoo like me writing about it. However, it was a pretty unique experience, and certainly not one you have every day, hence the report.