I had just kicked out my team from my office. We had completed with our weekly Thursday status
meeting, and I was in the process of deciding what task I'd begin next. In the meantime, my mind wandered toward the
weekend. I was planning on taking Deuce,
my four year old yellow lab, up to see my Dad at the memory care facility on
Saturday. It was going to be a nice
weekend, and Dad and I could sit in the courtyard, and he could throw the ball
for Deuce, as he really seemed to enjoy it.
Just like he enjoyed throwing the ball for Blitz years before.
I got my mind focused and started in on a
task, but my vibrating iPhone snapped me out of my productivity, and I could
see from the name and picture on the face of the phone that my wife was
calling. "Hi, honey," I
answered "How are you doing?"
"Mikey," she replied, "your dad died."
"NO!" I screamed and dropped the
phone like it was on fire. I got up,
walked over to my office door and slammed it.
"NO! THAT'S NOT FAIR! THAT'S
NOT FAIR!" I shouted. I headed back
to the phone lying on my desk. I didn't
want to pick it up. I turned and headed
back to the door, not sure of where I was going. Anywhere, I guess, than back to the
phone. As my hand touched the handle of
the door, I reversed course again and headed back to the phone. I picked it up. "That's not fair!" I said to my
wife. "Deuce and I were going to
see him this weekend. That's not
fair..."
As I broke down, my wife gently explained that my Dad was eating
his lunch, and that he ended up accidentally choking to death. It was not an uncommon method of dying for
patients with advanced cases of dementia, and while the staff did everything
they could to save his life, Dad died there on the floor of the dining area of
the memory care facility.
Of course, it
ultimately was for the best. Dementia is
a horrible, horrible illness, and Dad had suffered for so many years. At long last, the suffering had been brought
to an end, and he was at peace. And,
ultimately, so too were all of us who loved him.
As were his wishes, Dad was cremated. Our family held a mass and Irish wake in
celebration of his life, and it went down as the best party my family had ever
thrown. My Dad, a man who loved life so
much, would have adored it all. After
the celebration, our family held a private ceremony for Dad's ashes, which were
to be interned at a nice cemetery near where Mom lived. However, in working with the funeral director
and unbeknownst to the priest conducting the internment, a very small urn of
some of Dad's ashes were kept separate from the main urn to be interned. That small urn was given to me.
The fist Saturday after the ceremony, I
loaded Deuce in the truck and drove up to duck camp with the small urn that was
entrusted to me. Upon arriving, I put
the urn in my pocket, donned my waders, opened up the back of the truck to let
air in, but did not let Deuce out, much to her vocal displeasure. I then proceed to make my way down Gucci
Point.
Upon arriving to the end, a place
that Dad had loved so much, I pulled out the urn and opened it up. "Dad," I said aloud as I looked
down into his ashes, "I'd like to think that some of your heart is here in
these ashes, but I know some of it is here in this place. Blitz is here too. She's a heck of a dog, Dad. She'll keep you company. We'll all be back here soon - it will be duck
opener in a couple of weeks."
I
paused, as tears started to stream down my face. "I love you Dad. I miss you." And with that I tipped the small urn and
waived my arm, scattering Dad's ashes around the point.
I stood there among the ashes, closed my
eyes, and just wept. After a while I sealed
up the empty urn, and hurled it as far as I could into the middle of the
lake. I then wiped the tears from my
face, turned, and headed back to Deuce and the truck, leaving behind me the
place that now bore the ashes of my two best hunting partners.
Both of whom I love and miss so dearly.
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