When I awoke this morning at 4:30, I was already suffering from a decided lack of motivation. In my every other day rotation of running/going to the gym, it was a run day, and my body was having none of it. Some days I'm eager to run - damn near giddy. Some days it's a chore to get going.
This was way more than a chore.
Glancing at my phone, I did get my weather report, and while it was a better than usual temperature at 32 degrees, there was a 15 MPH wind from the north. Likewise, about a half inch of snow fell and stuck on the road. Nice if it's December. Not so nice for April, especially for someone that got used to running in 70-degree weather last week in Florida.
Despite the lack of motivation, I got my winter gear on and my safety vest, and out the door I headed. I started my warm-up walk and got about 50 yards down the road. The wind at my back was cold, and I knew it'd be uncomfortable with it in my face for half my run. Likewise, my feet were already slipping on the fresh snow, and I knew I'd be getting very little torque in such conditions. That means a lot of work for little speed/distance.
I turned around and headed home. A cup of coffee and a leisurely breakfast was kicking the living tar out of my current conditions.
I made my way to the driveway, where my thoughts of coffee had been replaced with a stream of self-loathing and disappointment, so I turned around. How many runs did I not want to do, but did them anyway and was thrilled with the results upon it ending?
Buoyed by my pep-talk / chewing out, I spun around and headed back down the road. About ten feet into my new direction, I was hit by a big gust of north wind and found that my recently instilled motivation wasn't very strong.
Thus, I'm sitting here penning this - warm and comfy and enjoying a hell of a cup of coffee. Still, I feel guilty and feel a failure. I need the workout as I'm running a 5k this weekend. Today was to be my last run ahead of the race. While I ran on Monday (and had a great run), it will now be 5 days between runs, which is not optimal.
We'll see how it translates on race day. For right now, it's good coffee, served with a massive side order of guilt.
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